Ode to Lacrosse Moms

Real Parenting

laxmomSo I’m packing for a weekend of watching lacrosse for my teenage son and find myself challenged to find, slimming, age appropriate fashionable, decade current  (ie not short, shorts from the eighties, “If you dare wear short, shorts Nair for short, shorts…”) clothing that might fit the bill. In addition to this treacherous challenge, I have to get the drinks, snacks, cooler and directions ready.  Fortunately, my son packs for himself.  Hint: if you want your children to learn to pack on their on pack old super hero t-shirts and too small underwear with cute puppies on them.  I guarantee, they’ll never let you pack for them again.

Back to me,  should I pack a pair of leopard print shorts from J. Crew that I bought on sale, end of season, at least seven years ago when I had a perky derriere, but now they just slide down my hips and show my crepy legs…not! There is a pair of turquoise shorts with red embroidered tulips from Talbots but I’m not sure.  The other day I was wearing them to Stop & Shop and an elderly man collecting donations for the needy told me he’d wear them to play golf.  UGH! Not the image I’m going for. Challenging!

And  this is even before I decide on a swim suit. Ok, all my Speedo suits from back in the day when I was a swimmer have zero support, forget about it! Bikinis? That ship left the port a long time ago. This leaves the safety suit for all us middle-aged women: a tankini with a  little skirt type bottom.  Look out son, Mom’s about to rule the hotel pool!

Now for what my daughter thinks is the watershed moment: the fanny pack. To pack or not to pack, that is the question.  Let’s be real. I’ll be on hot fields for six hours at a shot. I’ll need my iPhone, headphones, tournament field map, instructions,  money (for purchasing countless mini lacrosse sticks and over priced t-shirts) and of course the car keys. There’s no way I’m going to carry a handbag but all the items I need don’t fit into my short pockets; in fact, I’m lucky if a can tuck a slim bill in them much less keys.  The fanny pack is a must, along with a box of wine for back at the hotel. Forget “God Save the Queen.” It should be ‘God Save the Lacrosse Mom.”