Are You Cool

Real Parenting

uncool3I was cool, but no longer. My kids say I’m like uncool. In other words, my cool is their uncool. If you can agree with any of the following, you are no longer cool. You’re uncool. Welcome to the club!

  1. You type texts on your with your index finger?
  2. You leave 2 spaces between sentences.
  3. You get out of the car, take your phone and the GPS App starts giving you directions in the store.
  4. You have a home phone
  5. The main use of your land line phone is to call your cell phone so you can find it.
  6. On Facebook you post an obituary and tag the deceased.
  7. You believe in the practicality of fanny packs.
  8. You still turn around when you back up in the car although you have a backup camera.
  9. You watch the network evening news.
  10. You watch it on a television
  11. You pay bills via snail mail.
  12. You write in cursive.
  13. When you listen to music and hear a song you like, it’s a remake of a song originally sung by a group at least 20 years ago.
  14. You don’t recognize the names of the majority of current bands
  15. You think your daughter’s dresses are shirts.
  16. You tuck your shirts in pants
  17. You own a velour workout suit
  18. You believe the word Brazilian should only be used in reference to a person, not a beauty procedure.
  19. You have email account with AOL.
  20. You wear clogs and you aren’t a a doctor, or a nurse or cook.
  21. You think a hook-up is something on the back of your car.
  22. You wear sneakers in neon colors.
  23. You think tattoos are only appropriate for pirates.
  24. You wear a watch.
  25. You subscribe to a hard copy magazine or newspaper.
  26. You can’t turn on your home lights with your smart phone
  27. You use a rolodex or date book.
  28. You require your son to take his hat off when he sits down at the table or in church
  29. You pay by check or cash
  30. You “drink” water as opposed to “hydrate.”
  31. You think it is rude for someone to look at her phone when she’s talking to you.
  32. You wear nylons
  33. You feel bra straps should be covered by your top
  34. You rent DVD’s
  35. You want store receipts printed out, not just emailed to you.
  36. Black, grey or dark navy are the only clothing colors appropriate for funerals.
  37. You use a real clock for an alarm
  38. You mail, via horse and buggy invitations
  39. You bank in a bank.

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