I’ll tell you how to get motivated, but first I need to get motivated. Let me get another cup of coffee, take a bathroom break or check my email. Wait, I can’t do any of that or I’d violate my first tip.
Five Second Rule
My daughter sent me a link to a Ted Talk, “How to stop screwing yourself over,” by Mel Robbins. She has what she calls the five second rule. That is if you don’t do what you think about within five seconds of thinking it you won’t do it. So there goes my coffee… I need to blog. NOW
Feel the fear and do it anyway
There was a time in my life when I frequently listened to motivational and inspirational speakers. I was in a 12 step program for eating disorders and my sponsor suggested a book called, “Feel The Fear and Do It Anyway.” by Susan Jeffers . The concept was new to me, the idea that it’s ok to have fear and still act. That you can take chances in life and most of the time if the chance is worthwhile you will feel fear. Action involves change and change for a lot of us is scary.
If You wait for the perfect time all you do is wait
After I had my daughter, I wanted to have another child. My husband said we were in no position to have another child financially. Our 2 bedroom NYC apartment would be crammed with another person. God knows if you’ve ever had a baby they require so much space for such little beings. Stroller, high chair, crib, changing table boxes of diapers, swings, baby Einstein mats., car seats, the list seems endless, breast pump, bottles, breast feeding pillows bijorn carriers, a new wardrobe every 3 months. And if you plan to work good luck with that if you don’t have a nanny. Inevitably you will need help watching your child. I worked at home and brought my kids to the job site when I could but this is not always practical. So there is a real additional expense.
All the signs said no don’t have another baby but my biological clock was ticking and my husband’s biological clock was circa sundial so I just went ahead tried to get pregnant and fortunately was with child shortly thereafter at the age of 39.
The moral of my story is if you wait for things to be perfect and the stars to align, you will be waiting your whole life! Somewhere a long the way after my husband died I forgot this lesson. I was waiting for the first year to go by before I made any life decisions such as moving or getting a job. Then one year turned into two and my finances collapsed and I still didn’t miss my husband less. In fact I missed him more. So the expression timing is everything maybe is true but not in the sense the time has to be perfect, rather the time has to be immediate. Do it within the five seconds of thinking about it. Don’t delay. Count on the moment will never being right. And waiting just creates more angst than facing your fear and doing it.
My Sh*tty First Draft: Just Do It
My friend told me that she heard something that helped to get rid of writer’s block. Some writer said that she would procrastinate writing because she didn’t want to put any thought down on paper unless it was perfect. Well good luck with that. I’ve never known anyone to be able to get it right on a first draft. So, this sage writer indoctrinated the start of all her writing assignments as “My sh*ty first draft.” This allowed her the freedom to at least to sit down and get to work. Sh*ty first drafts sometimes have buried in them great ideas that would never have gotten written. If you didn’t give yourself permission to be human, that’s sh*ty.
- My top 4 favorite self help ideas are:
The Five Second Rule: Act on your ideas quickly
Feel the fear and do it anyway
If You wait for the perfect time all you’ll do is wait. The time is never perfect.
My Sh*ty First Draft: it’s ok if what you are doing sucks in the beginning. Just do It. (I should sell that one to Nike.)
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